Pia Zadora: Heartbeat of Love?!

Mug shot courtesy Las Vegas Metropolitan Police

     Pia, Pia, Pia. What kind of a mess has she gone and gotten herself into this time?  The only reason I ask myself this question is because this whole sordid story reminds me of the first, and the last time I heard the name Pia Zadora...until now.  At first I thought to myself, where have I seen that face, where have I heard that name? I had to do some Googling, and Youtubing but I finally figured it out.
     It was 1989. The not so best of times, the not so worst of times. I was living in Washington DC and frequented a video bar called JR's for Sunday afternoon happy hour with friends. They used to serve one dollar vodka well drinks and I was partial to Cape Cods at the time. 
     I remember when Pia's video for Heartbeat Of Love came on the overhead video screen.  We were merciless. We were livid with moral indignation that she had ripped off Madonna's Express Yourself video. I mean, c'mon, one can only stand so many renditions of Metropolis.  One of my friends whispered in my ear, "She posed in Penthouse, you know." Somehow, this didn't surprise me.
     Today people are piqued because Lady Gaga's Born This Way sounds like Madonna's Express Yourself. Pffft. You people have no idea the lengths that we would go to in 1989 to have Madonna's back. Now the music wonks on the internet debate about which video was released first, and who produced it, and how much each one cost and blah, blah, blah, but let me tell you that perception is everything.
     All I really remember about Heartbeat Of Love now is that she walked around with a vague expression on her face with wet frazzled hair.  I couldn't remember the name of the song, or even what it sounded like. Believe me, I had to sit through some painful Pia Zadora videos, like the one with Jermaine Jackson, to finally figure out which one it was that I'd seen before.
     Here is the video to Heartbeat Of Love.

     And here is Madonna's Express Yourself video.

     Heartbeat of Love clunks and grinds along like some of those cogs in the machine need oiling. My favorite part of the song is the rap bridge that comes in about two thirds of the way through it. I had forgotten all about it. We hear this all the time on the radio today, kind of like Jennifer Lopez feat. Pit Bull. Back in the day it sounded strange, and juxtaposed.  They didn't know how to make rap flow with the fizzy electronic sound of eighties music.  Still, Pia should have given the rapper credit. And to whom is the creepy, goofy looking guy really giving the finger, Madonna perhaps?
   Express Yourself is like Art Deco in motion. The song empowers the Betty Boops of the world  to reach for more in life. Directed by David Fincher, it has a patina and glow about it that reminds one of actual cinema. (No, wait, maybe the patina and glow was me after too many Cape Cods at JR's.)
    Sadly, it was poor judgement in her professional, and personal life that brought Pia Zadora to this place. I'm not going to rehash the whole domestic dispute story here. All I can do is say that I feel the same way now about the situation as I did in 1989. Shame on you, Pia Zadora. Shame on you.

Resource links:
CNN 

Wikipedia: Express Yourself